Just make a friend

What does it mean to "Make a Friend"?  

In the children's book "Fox Makes Friends" by Adam Relf, young Fox wants to make friends and goes out into his forest home to do just that.  He actually creates his own friends.

"When Fox wants someone to play with, he takes his Mom's advice and sets off to make a friend. What happens along the way surprises him! Fox is about to make the best friends he could ever hope for, but not in the way he imagined."

It is a very good read.  I highly recommend it. Puts into perspective that sometimes we would rather pick and choose the qualities of the people we include in our lives rather than seeing the people around us as they are and showing them the care and love all people deserve when we see them through God's eyes.

And now on to the sharing of a story of faith.  What follows is the re-telling of the experience of "making a friend" by a member of St. Andrews.

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Several years ago now neither a worship service nor a church newsletter article went by without Pastor Dan talking about sharing one's faith by "just making a friend."  He said it so nonchalantly; with ease, and as though the task was no harder than making a sandwich.

But making friends isn't so easy.  For some, casual conversation with strangers is a breeze and good friends are made and come and go with just as much ease.  For others, friends leave marks and make an impact on our lives in such a way that when they are gone the world stops turning or might in fact begin to spin in the opposite direction.

So when we hear the word "friend" a whole host of ideas, life experiences, and emotions come to mind.  How is a person to easily "make a friend" when  for them a friend is a treasured possession with whom the deepest parts of life are shared and experienced?

After a bit of conversation amongst other individuals at St. Andrews what became clear was that the Pastor's call was not quite so easy to accept or understand (no matter how many times it was mentioned).  But in those same discussions the idea of "making a friend" grew, taking a slightly different shape in my own life.  Instead of thinking about "making a friend" I thought about who I saw on a regular basis on any given day and how I could be a friend or at least a welcoming person when I see them.

Now when I go to work I park in a parking garage.  Each day when I leave work I drive past the parking garage attendant.  Now most of the time when leaving work I am more than ready to get home, having spent a great deal of emotional and physical energy doing my job.  It would be easy and more than acceptable to simply wave and smile as I pass this gentleman but with "make a friend" on the brain I rolled down my window and said hello and introduced myself.  

That was over three years ago.  

In those three years I have learned many things about this gentlemen, his family, and where he is from.  We enjoyed sharing about the birth of our grandchildren and getting updates on how they have grown and while our conversations are inevitably brief (seems I leave the garage at a popular time) and we haven't had in-depth debates about faith or arranged for dinner engagements between our families, this man is more than a mere acquaintance.  When he misses work I ask about him, pray for him and his family, and always welcome him back with a big smile and a "where were you?"  

It was at the start of the fourth year of our friendship that I've come to see just part of the bigger picture of how much the "little things" in our lives can add up to make "big" impacts.  Upon returning from summer vacation I was excited to say hello and get caught up with Larry.  What I did not expect was a gift.  Over the summer he had visited his family in Africa and had brought me back a homemade necklace.  When I first rolled down my window three years ago to say hello I certainly could not foresee that our brief conversations would lead to a gift of thankfulness bought across oceans and brought back over several thousand miles.  

While it may seem like a mere necklace to some, to me it represents the reality that God works through what appears to be the most inconsequential aspects of our lives, showing us that he is alive and active in the world around us.  Reaching out and sharing our faith isn't just a matter of speaking the words but living out the care, concern and grace of God that we have been shown through Jesus.  That care, concern and grace is the foundation for my friendship with Larry and I am blessed to receive that care in return.

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Near Death Experience

Years ago I had bronchitis and was prescribed antibiotics.  While Ted and I were driving down I-5 past San Joaquin General Hospital, I took the first pill.  I had an allergic reaction and went into anaphylactic shock.  I was unconscious within minutes.  Ted drove us to San Joaquin General Hospital's emergency department where they resuscitated me.  Before waking, I felt the presence of God!  I was given a great big God hug!  I was held in Jesus' arms!  It was an indescribable experience!

I have shared this story at different times and places.  In 2009 Pastor Dan asked me to join his team to go to Kenya, Africa for the Capstone mission trip.  One day, part of our team visited an AIDS women's Bible study held out in a field.  These African women were in various stages of the disease (one was dying).  Their pastor interpreted my near death experience.  I told them that I know God is there with us...in death and in life.  The pastor said, "look at the hope in their eyes!"  Isn't it amazing how God can use us for His mission.

You would think that since I have had an awesome "near death experience" that I would daily and forever be full of grace, love, faith and hope.  Not so.  Even though God gave me an awesome experience I fail again and again.  The world give us despair, doubt, fear, darkness and sadness.

This scripture says that since we belong to the Lord, the Light, we no longer need to live in darkness.  In the face of darkness, He gives us Light - the hope of salvation!  Faith, hope and love equip us for dealing with doubt, hate and despair.  What helps me "grab" this equipment when I need it?  Prayer, scripture, fellow believers, and spiritual music.  He shows me that I am still loved and forgiven everyday no matter how I am feeling.  What really helps me is to know that God loves me right where I am.  I don't have to be in a "good place" in order to have His grace - I can be in the middle of my darkness/sadness/doubt/fears and He is still with me!  Good thing I don't have to earn it!

To be Christ's is to have entered a relationship that nothing can destroy (not even death).  Jesus died for us so that whether we are awake or "asleep" we may live together with Him.  In Matthew, the angel calls Jesus Emanuel, which means God with us (Matthew 1:22).  We can trust that God is with us.

"We're having church here!"

"You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also." - 2 Timothy 2:2

Have you ever received one of those chain emails about the "cute things kids say"?  I know I've received several about everything from what they say to their teachers to what they say about God.  Their answers are always clear and heartfelt, able to cut through the fog in which we adults seem so easily to get caught.

Once a month a group of us go to a neighborhood park in an attempt to get to know the people in the area and spend time with them.  We've held several events in the park over the past six years; everything from Vacation Bible School to events at Easter, around Halloween and at Christmas.  There is one young man, now going into the sixth grade, who is always at the events.  He seems to know everyone in the neighborhood and everyone seems to know or known of him.  Whenever we are there, whether for a big event or for lunch at the park when we go once a month, he always comes right up to us and says hello.  He's even run up to our children's director in the middle of Target.

The last time we were at the park he said something that got me thinking, something that I still think about over a month later.  Now in a park, being public property, we aren't always able to control what happens around us. On this particular Saturday someone was standing out in front of an apartment complex across the street from the park wasn't using the nicest language as they yelled across the street to someone in front of another apartment complex.  Upon hearing the exchange our young soon-to-be sixth grader yells out:

"Watch the language.  We're having church here."

That is probably one of the most profound comments I've heard to this point in my life about the church.  

Mind you we were not singing worship songs, reading scripture, having a time of communal prayer or any of the things that easily pop into my mind when I hear the word "church".  But what is the church?  It certainly isn't a building.  It isn't a certain way of ordering a worship service.  The church is the gathered body of Christ.  Even as a group of eight believers gathered around that picnic table, adults and children, we were the church.  It probably didn't look like the church from the perspective of others in the park or across the street but it was; we were.

Since that Saturday I've thought about how easy it can be to dismiss that which we see but don't really understand.  We filter the world through our own worldview and experiences.  When we don't take the time to really find out what is going on, to meet, talk, and hear from people we can completely misunderstand and mislabel what is going on.  

What does the church really look like?  What does it look like in Stockton?  In America?  In the world?  I don't have ready, succinct answers to any of these questions other than to say that each answer is big and far more profound than any sentence I could construct.  I appreciate the fact that this soon-to-be sixth grader has helped me, though the simplest of comments, to look outside my own experience and see the world around me through his eyes and I hope there will be many more opportunities to do so in the future.

When words fail you

Perhaps one of the hardest aspects of living one's faith is learning how to share it (and not necessarily just because we don't always know how to go about doing so).  Sometimes we simply do not have the words to describe who God is or what He means to us.  Sometimes we don't know how to describe how we feel when we know that someone has loved us enough to have died for us.

Part of the journey of faith is learning how to put such experiences, such life realities into words.  This blog is intended to provide an opportunity to share stories of faith, whether they be about growing in faith, difficult situations, or joyous moments of discovery.

Enjoy.