Years ago I had bronchitis and was prescribed antibiotics. While Ted and I were driving down I-5 past San Joaquin General Hospital, I took the first pill. I had an allergic reaction and went into anaphylactic shock. I was unconscious within minutes. Ted drove us to San Joaquin General Hospital's emergency department where they resuscitated me. Before waking, I felt the presence of God! I was given a great big God hug! I was held in Jesus' arms! It was an indescribable experience!
I have shared this story at different times and places. In 2009 Pastor Dan asked me to join his team to go to Kenya, Africa for the Capstone mission trip. One day, part of our team visited an AIDS women's Bible study held out in a field. These African women were in various stages of the disease (one was dying). Their pastor interpreted my near death experience. I told them that I know God is there with us...in death and in life. The pastor said, "look at the hope in their eyes!" Isn't it amazing how God can use us for His mission.
You would think that since I have had an awesome "near death experience" that I would daily and forever be full of grace, love, faith and hope. Not so. Even though God gave me an awesome experience I fail again and again. The world give us despair, doubt, fear, darkness and sadness.
This scripture says that since we belong to the Lord, the Light, we no longer need to live in darkness. In the face of darkness, He gives us Light - the hope of salvation! Faith, hope and love equip us for dealing with doubt, hate and despair. What helps me "grab" this equipment when I need it? Prayer, scripture, fellow believers, and spiritual music. He shows me that I am still loved and forgiven everyday no matter how I am feeling. What really helps me is to know that God loves me right where I am. I don't have to be in a "good place" in order to have His grace - I can be in the middle of my darkness/sadness/doubt/fears and He is still with me! Good thing I don't have to earn it!
To be Christ's is to have entered a relationship that nothing can destroy (not even death). Jesus died for us so that whether we are awake or "asleep" we may live together with Him. In Matthew, the angel calls Jesus Emanuel, which means God with us (Matthew 1:22). We can trust that God is with us.
